guess so..

It is better for me to shut my mouth.

just stare and 

keep all thoughts in my mind..

bitter,huh?

forgive me.i'm not good at talking and that's why.*sigh~~~

They Say!

Me gaining weight lately becomes a hot issue between mom and dad.

Mom: You better watch your weight. You look so chubby la..Omg!look at your arms...,so big!

Me: I can't control my diet la...its hard you know for me to lose weight..huhuhuhu..~

Dad: Let her be la..okay what..wind can easily blow her away if she's thin..hahahaha~

Me:  =____="

Fact: i got low metabolism rate.

muhasabah #3

The love of Allah SWT is a light that,

if you are without it,

you are in an ocean of darkness. (Ibn Qayyim)

Red Phantom Corps : The Winning,Training and Stuff. Part 1.

Yup. Ini entri psl brassband. purely 100% about what i feel. klu rse menympah, x suka dan segala, tutup tab ni,senang kan?hehehe..ok, lets get started.

Cmne nk start eh?ok, first...ckp psl training la. training agak 'terbaeekkkkk' ala2 hell gitu. ok, scientifically we called it as 'training hell'. mksud training hell tuh, do it perfectly : if you make a single mistake, you have to start the whole thing again and again and again..*2PM Again and Again song cue*...hell kan??and memang hell la bg aku sebab yg selalu wat salah tu sume tak lain tak bukan ialah aku,ok?*tuding jari kat diri sendiri*..ok, aku pon tak tahu pehal la aku bengap sgt. memang muke aku muke emotionless, blur sbb da rmai da wat kuar statement tuh even my bestfriend pon ckp muke aku xde perasaan tapi tuh kat luar. dalam hati aku, aku rase bersalah yg amat sngat.rase cm nak tembak diri sendiri. malu and marah sangat ngn kebodohan diri sendiri. i tried my best..but still..*sigh~~~...ade la player lain tnye aku "zuzu, ok tak?aku angguk je kepale sbb aku takot klu aku jwb gne mulut, aku akn teresak2...sbb time tgh wat formation tuh aku mengalir air mate...and maybe ade je player lain yg bengang ngn aku. ye, aku tau..huhuuuhu..honestly, aku tak boleh buat something under pressure. same cam blaja. klau aku blaja time aku tension sumpah aku rase cm kne hempap ngn batu sebesar dinosaur lalu memutuskan berjuta-juta lemon hubungan neuron2 dlm otak aku neh dan menyekat otak aku drpd berfikir dgn teratur..ok, back to the topic. ade satu ketika aku rase tension tuh (mlm before bertolak g perak,time waktu maghrib), aku menangis sorang2. g training mate bengkak2 smpai DM pon tegur aku saket mate ke..huhuhu..aku just sengih je mcm kerang busuk..huhuhu..mlm tuh jugak la kne marah kaw2 ngn abg hafiz. down memang down.tok sah nk cakap ar. kne point kot. nk marah pon x gne gak sbb aku tau tu mmg salah aku. balek bilik aku senyap je. trus kemas barang sbb esok pagi tuh da kne bertolak g perak. smbil2  tu aku wat self reflection. up-kan diri sendiri yg tgh down.

ok, the journey to uitm perak took about 12 hours. saket blkg jgn ckp ar. sejuk air-cond lg. mse kat kemaman kot bas berhenti.lame jugak.pastu bru tau yg abg hafiz nk ikot kitorg sekali. terkejut jugak ye bile dpt tau abg hafiz sanggup x pegi konvo semate2 nk ikot kitorg g perak. gila kn????Nadia ckp patot la dyer rse mcm xnk salam je ngn abg hafiz pagi tuh..hahahhaa..mse dlm bas tuh sempat la jugak igt2 formation smbil gerak2 jari smpai la tertido. bile terjaga, ulang lgi smpai la tertido balek. dan ulang dan ulang dan ulang lagi dan lagi dan lagi..........hehehe..smpai perak tros tido esok bgn pegi training. warm-up mcm biase. angkat2 cymbal saket wohhhhhhh...rase cm melimpah ruah je lactic acid yang kuar dr muscle lengan aku dowh..push up best!heheheh..aku suke!star jump??sumpah,aku kurang gemar..-__-..abis pg training tuh, kuar pegi brunch kat restoran selera utara. tempat dyer cantik..!!!sawah padi!!!lawa!!!!hijau je..chantekk!!ok,aku hyper ..yelah,kat tempat aku mne ade sawah bendang luas terbentang mcm tuh..laut biru pantai memanjang ade lah..hehehe.. and then Tuan Jamil bwk g jln2 kt Lumut,..part neh xleh blah..pegi sane pakai track suit, kasut sukan, baju berpeluh bau ketiak masam..mesti tourist2 tuh tgk pelik semacam..hahahha..beli keychain and nk beli beg satu. berkenan sgt tapi mak cik tuh berkeras xnk turunkan harge..haishh..so,tak beli..huhuhuhu..ptg tu balek smbung training lagi.and for the first time abg hafiz ckp "zuzu,good!"...ok, aku rse motivated.pastuh aku lebih bersemangat nk training!!!even tak perfect tapi improve dari training mse kat dungun tuh..huhuhuhu..the spirit of red phantom is back!!!^__^

to be continued..~~